Thi
in memory of Dory.
She impacted manny of our live
and we hope she affected your
May she dwell in heaven
and running free.
dearest all,
have you ever wonder what or who are you actually studying so hard for? getting the brilliant As for? this question have been crossing and recrossing my mind alot these few days, which leads me into this deep analysis. i admit i get frustrated over my garbage grades. yes i do cry and i do go into depression or some might say PMS-ing mode. i've been thinking alot and i recently jotted down a few points on 'WHY am i studying so hard'.
1. to clinch a good opportunity in the media industry.
2. do my parents and teachers proud.
3. console myself that i'm not that illiterate after all.
4. cause everyone is doing that and i also have to feed my reluctant soul.
5. i don't get any other satisfaction other than 'i've completed 3 chapters of Biology today.'
ok. i want to be a famous journalist in the future cause i wanna earn big and make a mark for myself - with money i can do almost anything, money equals power. that WAS how i thought. i scorn at it now. God says stop lusting after Wordly Pocessions cause in the end it doesn't even matter. we should be spending more time with God and sad to say because of our academic life, we've been putting God at 2nd place. i've heard people skipping church to mug for the next day's paper. we neglect our love for God, we have let him down. when we get back our papers, how many of us actually spend a minute or so thanking God for it, and how many of us whine, complain about how low our grades are and further seek on a journey to scrape more marks. people, spend some time honouring God. our academic life means nothing in the spiritual world. it's just a Boast on your vast knowledge. it might be a form of a certificate; to claim more Wordly Pocessions than most others. you see, we need God more than our acadamic pursuits.
i still remember how doreen use to tell me about her slipping grades and how sick of studying she was. maybe if were to just LET GO and literally GET A LIFE yeah, we wouldn't be fretting over your results now and she would have been spared for being so upset. all her results don't mean anything to her now. her As in english are not taken note of in heaven. and her Fs in maths are...obselete. (laughs) anyhow, do you get my point?
there are other priorities in life. let's work on it shall we.
let's balance our academics and our social, spiritual life . sheesh its the big Os next year. so in the midst of my confusion, i'll just continue swimming in my 8 subjects. (BIG FAT IRONY)
bless.
and i hope she lived happily ever after 6:16 AM
i am thoroughly glad that i have at least one pic with dory (=
all smiles!
and i hope she lived happily ever after 7:27 AM
it's been exactly one week since Dory left us.
i still have a tiny part of me believing that one day, she'll walk in, beaming, and go
"hiya guys! miss me?"
but i now know that's not possible.
sometimes i miss her so much. particularly when i have a very tantalizing piece of gossip i wanna share, and i hover over her name in my contact list, and remember she'll never respond to whatever i say. not on this physical plane anyway.
oh man i can just imagine her visiting me in my dreams and asking me what's going on.
i know she's happier being able to run, to bounce, to fly in paradise, but a jealous and selfish part of me wishes she was back here with us so she could spare us all this torment and anguish and pain and grief.
but now i'm sincerely feeling happier for her, that she will never have to rely on medical aid to continue living on this world ever again. that she will not be bogged down by all the pressures of the education system. that she will always tell us all as she looks down on us, that she loves us.
i love you too Dory.
and i hope she lived happily ever after 7:16 PM
dear all,
it was a tough learning experience, wasn't it? you know, your parents, your teachers never failed to drone on and on about "appreciate your love ones, you never know when you can never say iloveyou." we thought it was (pardon me) half bullshit then, cause we took everything for granted. you know how silly i was to think that no one close to me would be gone so suddenly, so unexpectedly? yes, how stupid.
i still remember thursday, 25 august 2005. there was this unnatural thunder that sounded so loudly when it was actually a clear breezy day. hmm. didn't strike me at all, carried on with my work, fretting over PPRs. (which if you ask me is undoubtfully idiotic)
and then, it came to pe. was winning floorball 2-0. then suddenly, everything happened in a rush - xiangfeng running to us crying, us being shooed out of the parade square to make way for the ambulance, dory being wheeled out onto the ambulance..so lifeless..so frightfully pale, nilawan sobbing like i've never seen her before.
gosh, i think i nearly cried a river when i heard about dory's death. not exactly death, rather, but just physically dead. i can imagine her kicking me now, saying " lmao. im in heaven, no more add maths! whee! " haha. God bless her, my padawan.
so in short, i've learnt that treasuring your love ones everyday isn't bullshit. but rather something we all must do, cause we never know what tomorrow might bring. and now, i'm never stingy with my I.O.Us - you never know when it's the last time you can actually see your friend, hug your friend.
im sure dory had a wonderful time on earth. but now, she's taken the shortcut to heaven cause God looked at her one day and said "hmm, this little lamer must make a very good angel!" yea, i guess that or either he wanted to teach us the meaning of 'appreciate'.
so my dear friends, tell everyone how much you love them now. keep the I.O.Us going, keep spreading the bug.
i love you, i love you, i love you. each and everyone of you.
more than love,
Carissa
and i hope she lived happily ever after 4:39 AM
Suddenly
it was just another ordinary day
she was being herself
bright, happy, and a-okay
when into sorrow the atmosphere delve
the air tingled with dread
we knew something was wrong
the shaking shoulders; the bowed head
our anticipating fear was prolonged
until finally the truth broke
and naught we could do but cry
our sobs were caught and choked
the torrents of loss at our eyes
in a split-instant our lives had changed
the moment she had gone
we would never see her again
it was like part of our hearts were torn
though we know she's happy and free
in a safe haven away from pain
we can't do anything but grieve
for the loss of a friend is too hard to withstand
dory- wherever you may be, we know that you'll watch over us
so we pray eternally for you, sealed with our love and trust.
-kookie
and i hope she lived happily ever after 4:50 PM
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